So I ment to write a little more about how I am getting things together this week. Planning, how to find what you want in life so on and on. And then This week went bad. I have felt non productive. Tired and everything has of course compounded to. A not getting anything crossed off my to do list week went to a grumpy week when a E-mail from a group I worked with last year came back with the reply "In order to work our events with us we want you to give us ALL your proceeds". Um.... thats crazy. Why would any business want to work with a group who wants all there profits? So I have lost one of my event venues for the year and all my hard work to get my calendar set for the year feels like a waste of time. Its a overreaction. I know this. But when you finally start to get things all squared away and a big part falls out, you feel frustrated. So I think this late Thinking Out Loud Thursday should be about thankfulness. This is a great way to lift your mood and remember even on down days what you love about your life.
So for me this year is completely about well a mix of finding my self and expansion too. Kind of finding who I want to be and reaching for that. I have been miserable. Its sucked. I have felt bad about my self on all levels. I'm not a good enough person. Not a good enough friend. Not a good enough wife. I suck at most things and what I do have some pride in i'm mediocre at. I was beginning sentences with "I'm probably a bad person but...."
Wait why am I not good enough? Why am I bad?
The end of last year I realised who I don't want to be. I found myself saying over and over. "self, why are you not who you used to be?" The answer is that you change. You have to change its how the universe works. Even the planets and stars are not static. I can't stay the same person forever. If I dont have a clear idea of who I want to be then who I become will be unclear too. So I have made myself a planner that incorporates action, spirit and thoughts daily.
The change agreement #2
How did you do on finding your change? For those of you who found that thing in life you need to change and knew what steps to take, Congratulations! For those of you who sat staring at the change agreement and felt like you had no clue. Dont worry, you have got this. All you need is some help pulling this out of your self. Our minds and bodies know what we need. So often we get caught up in the busyness of our lives that we don't pay attention. It is important we take the time to listen. Our happiness depends on it. Today, try making a list of the things you want in life. You are going to answer seven questions that will give you some much needed answers. Take out a pen and paper or copy and paste them into your word program. Or just download here Finding your change.PDF
The change agreement #1
I live with a reminder that people can change. We change weather we want to or not. I was reminded this week when I made spaghetti. I love mushrooms. I added a big can of sliced mushrooms to the pot. I was expecting a complaint when we ate. But my Hubby ate his dinner happily and didn't pick out one mushroom. When my husband and I first started living together he wouldn't eat anything. His pallet was a strict diet of hamburgers, mac and cheese, hot dogs and pizza. In the spirit of trying to please him I tried to cook what he liked. By the end of the first month I was at the end of my food roap. One french fry away from insanity. I needed REAL FOOD and I needed it now! So we talked and I told him this. We made a deal. He likes to say he accepted a deal so I wouldn't kill him.